I listen to a lot of music, and while my tastes are varied my favorite artists are singer/songwriters with touch of melancholy around the edges. Aimee Mann and her urban sarcasm. James McMurtry and his rural ironic pessimism. Pink Floyd and their obsession with madness. Paul Simon and his fog of nostalgia. But for my money there’s only one song that perfectly captures existential angst: Johnny Mandel’s “Suicide is Painless,” better known as the theme from M*A*S*H.

The sword of time will pierce our skins—
It doesn’t hurt when it begins.
But as it works its way on in,
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin.

Well, OK. It’s really the music that makes the song. But man, what a hook in the chorus. And when it gets stuck in my head I tend to go around singing it under my breath. Which has to freak anyone out who hears me.

So just to let you know if you’re around me the next few days—I’m not depressed and I’m not suicidal, I’m just under the influence of an unfortunate earworm. Plus it’s January, and that brings just about everyone down.